now considered one notch more obnoxious than "a little bit of farting or belching", yet less obnoxious than "a teenager vomiting and his friend urinating onto bystanders". He is "the equivalent of an animal humping someone's leg".
This according to the Ontario Film Review Board.
Johnny Cash strangely silent on the matter...
Many other famous sorts join in on the silent protest.
Showing posts with label Humour. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Humour. Show all posts
Saturday, February 07, 2009
Pierre Trudeau
Friday, November 30, 2007
But he's not!
WARNING.... The following youtube link contains PROFANITY PROFANITY PROFANITY!!!! If the "F" word bothers you, don't watch the video! You have been warned!
Tim Wilson, "I Could Be Wrong"
Wednesday, November 21, 2007
Click here to see the big pictureWednesday, November 14, 2007
Fight for Kisses
Sometimes too close a shave can cause major problems...
I think Wilkinson has a hit on their hands!
Wednesday, April 25, 2007
Who would have thunk it?
A lawyer with a sense of humor. Apparently the story I blogged about on Monday regarding daylight savings time and global warming was a joke. I must also apologize for my error as it tuns out that "Connie" is a he and not a she. An honest mistake. As it turns out, Connie is known for writing sarcastic letters...
Monday, April 23, 2007
Even I'm not this nutty
I think Connie M. Meskimen in Hot Springs, Arkansas, needs to adjust her medication... Yikes!
This should come as no surprise to any reasonable person. As you know, Daylight Savings Time started almost a month early this year. You would think that members of Congress would have considered the warming effect that an extra hour of daylight would have on our climate. Or did they?
Maybe it is not medication that is the culprit. I wonder if her husband drives a big block dodge... Bought it at an auction at the Mason's Lodge... Johnson County Sheriff painted on the side... Just shot a coat of primer then he looked inside...
Saturday, April 21, 2007
Hockey Violence
We must put an end to this sort of thing! Violence in hockey is corrupting our youth.
Now stop giggling... I'm trying to be serious here... OK, never mind...
Friday, April 13, 2007
Kumbaya
Kumbaya my lord, kumbaya
Kumbaya my lord, kumbaya
Kumbaya my lord, kumbaya
Oh lord, kumbaya
Someones singing lord, kumbaya
Someones singing lord, kumbaya
Someones singing lord, kumbaya
Oh lord, kumbayah
Someones laughing, lord, kumbaya
Someones laughing, lord, kumbaya
Someones laughing, lord, kumbaya
Oh lord, kumbaya
Someones crying, lord, kumbaya
Someones crying, lord, kumbaya
Someones crying, lord, kumbaya
Oh lord, kumbaya
Someones praying, lord, kumbaya
Someones praying, lord, kumbaya
Someones praying, lord, kumbaya
Oh lord, kumbaya
Someones sleeping, lord, kumbaya
Someones sleeping, lord, kumbaya
Someones sleeping, lord, kumbaya
Oh lord, kumbaya
Oh lord, kumbaya
Friday, April 06, 2007
One World Government
With all of the fighting going on, on our planet, I think it is time for us to elect a government that represents us all. Yes, a One World Government with one leader who decides everything for us. We humans have shown that we cannot get along in our current system of many governments. Here is my proposal.
Ultimate being/Leader: Mickey Mouse
Finance: Scrooge McDuck
Defense: Buzz Lightyear
Education: Little Einsteins
Health: Popeye
Science: Gyro Gearloose
Environment: The Great Prince of the Forest
Early Children Development: Mary Poppins
Transportation: Lightning McQueen
Law Enforcement: Quick Draw McGraw and his side kick, Baba Looey
Oceans and Fisheries: Mr. Ray
Agriculture: The Tweedy’s
Energy: Charles Montgomery Burns
Add your suggestions in the comments...
Saturday, March 17, 2007
Hint Hint
You would think that some people would get the hint by now but noooooooooooo. They just keep on going like the good little soldiers they are, fighting the good fight, even though Mother Nature seems to be trying to tell them otherwise.
H/T to Jack's Newswatch
Sunday, February 18, 2007
Global Warming Survival Kit
I have been busy the past few days getting my shit together preparing for the inevitable. Okay maybe not inevitable but 90% certainty that AGW is happening. Yes I was a Boy Scout, "Always Be Prepared" is still my motto. So I decided to add a few extra items to my already well stocked bomb shelter compliments of the cold war years. Consider this my contribution to saving your ass. You are welcome.
You should stock up on some serious sunblock. I would recommend nothing less that an SPF ratting of 50 with both UVA and UVB protection. You northern residents that are not use to the heat may want to kick it up a few notches.
You will notice the latest fashion trend will soon be large brim hats to keep that over powering sun shine from frying your brain. I suggest you have a couple on hand at the very least.
Another fashion trend coming down the pike will Be unisex burka's. There efficiency is undeniable when it comes to blocking out everything including the sun's rays. The new designs will incorporate the latest fabrics that will allow you to not only look cool but also stay cool. I recommend buying several of these items in various co ordinated colors to match your large brim hats.
One over looked item a lot of people seem to forget is sunglasses. You must protect your eyes as well from those demon sun rays. I suggest you look for ones that not only give you UV protection but also HEV protection as well. It is also a good idea to ensure they are also ANSI Z87.1 certified.
There will be bonuses to these new fashions. I will not reveal them here as I do not want to give out all my secrets to the criminal minds out there. Wink wink nudge nudge. Which reminds me. You do still have you weapons cash in your bunker don't you? You may want to check up on that one. You can never have enough protection now can you?
The next must have item is, ear plugs. Yes you read that correctly. Do you honestly want to hear the screams of all those stupid people dying because they were not smart enough to read this post?
For those of you stupid enough to be living near large bodies of water, or flood plains, I suggest you consider a self inflating raft. One of sufficient size to hold all your loved ones and all your survival equipment. When the waters rise during the floods and wipe out not only your home, but your whole way of life, you will thank me.
Speaking of water. Despite the fact that there will be water everywhere, very little will be suitable for drinking. You will want to store plenty of drinking water in a good hiding spot. No need for storing food, as crops will be plentiful and food will be abundant.
You may want to think about either getting air condition, or upgrading your existing air conditioner to a larger one to help keep you cool during those scorching hot days to come.
Now this next one is a personal call. Personally I am not going to miss all the snow, but if you are one of those that want to cling to the past then I suggest you get yourself a dedicated freezer. Fill it with some of the snow currently available to take a peek at now and then when you feel the need. Perhaps you can also use it as an educational item for the poor generations ahead that will not know what snow is.
You may also want to get yourself some form of alternate emergency power to keep your new cooling systems operating on those many brown out days that are sure to come. Incidentally caused by all those new cooling systems that will be needed to keep us cool.
Another item you may want to have handy, depending on your personality type is, the movie "An Inconvenient Truth" along with any other material you find useful to have on hand to shove in the faces of those damn global warning deniers. I like to call it the "We told you so" factor. Sometimes it is just nice to be able to vent out you frustrations while screaming at the top of your lungs, but to have actual proof comes in handy as well.
Lastly, with the increase of temperatures on the planet, there will no doubt be an increase in insects that will pester us. We will need to be prepared to take care of the pesky little buggers that spread so much disease. I suggest you ignore all the rules and get yourself some serious amounts of DDT. It is still available on the black market if you take the time to search it out. DEET just will not cut it. I also suggest you get one of these handy dandy tools just to play it safe.
I'm pretty sure that I have thought of everything needed to survive the warming of the climate and the utter catastrophe that is heading our way. If you think there is something I have missed and would like to add to the above please do so in the comments.
Thanks for popping by and enjoy your day as they may be numbered! Well to be honest they are numbered. They always have been. Life is a fatal disease....
Wednesday, January 24, 2007
Belated Merry Christmas to Europe
Remember the stories coming out back in December?
Ski resorts across the European Alps are becoming increasingly worried as current bad snow conditions threaten the all important Christmas holiday period.
Many believe global warming is to blame for the lack of snow.
Although a little later than they would have liked. Europe got what they wanted for Christmas.
Heavy snowfall across Europe grounded passenger planes and forced the closure of several airports.
Better late than never I say. Now that they have it, bet they wish they had asked Santa for something different. Enjoy your skiing!
Sunday, January 21, 2007
What Does a Beaver Know Anyways
I haven't been to this site in a while and I'm glad I popped in today. Go have a wee laugh at a few Canadian politicians expence. First Annual Timmy Awards
Sunday, January 14, 2007
Saturday, January 13, 2007
Hot Air Record Broken
Alberta was the place chosen to break a world record for hot air ballooning. The new record holder must have taken into account that Stephane Dion would be in the province at the time, providing plenty of the required hot air, pretty much guarantying a new record.
On Friday, Hempleman-Adams set out in a hot-air balloon with an open wicker basket near Red Deer, Alta., and climbed to 9,906 metres.
Hempleman-Adams also braved frigid winter weather conditions in Alberta - at the height of his climb the temperature was reportedly -60 C.
The bitter cold Hempleman-Adams endured was caused by the cold reception that Dion received by Albertans, and was not related to climate change.
Thursday, January 04, 2007
I want one!
Although most car enthusiasts would think I'm nuts.... I want to get a 1994 Vauxhall Cavalier. Why you might ask? Well, not only are they cheap, well under $2000.00 Canadian plus shipping of course. That's not the main reason though. What if I told you, for that cheap price you could own a world record breaking speed demon! Yes, this car is faster than the 2005 Bugatti Veyron 16.4 that tops out at a mere 253.2 mph. One of these little, not so pretty Vauxhall Cavaliers has been clocked in Newport, Gwent, Wales doing 420 MPH in a 30 MPH zone! I'm not making this up. This is one fast TAXI! Or perhaps the photo radar was faulty? Typo? What do you think?
Monday, January 01, 2007
Correction
Looks like our photo editor goofed folks and we here at TABaker Blog apologize for any confusion this may have caused. We as a result, have punished him by severely limiting what he can access on the Internet from this day forth while at work. In a story we reported on yesterday in regards to the security breach at the Prime Ministers country house in Gatineau park, he mistakenly placed a photo of a motor home he was thinking of bidding on over at ebay. The correct photo is this one of a white Chevrolet with the fancy mural on the side. The RCMP have yet to release the woman drivers name but we have a source that said the white Chevrolet may have had B.C. plates. This has yet to be confirmed. We can't help but notice how squeeky clean this vehicle is! And whats up with that mural?
Sunday, December 31, 2006
What do Saddam and Elvis have in common?
They are both still walking amongst us! Yes only hours after Saddam was executed, he has been seen walking the streets of Baghdad
Security Breach
More breaking news....
RCMP apparently break up a coup attempt....
While Prime Minister Stephen Harper and family were relaxing at his country house in Gatineau park early this morning, a vehicle drove through a security barrier. RCMP officers quickly intervened and arrested the suspect, who reportedly simply wanted to be the Prime Minister. Fortunately, the reporters from TABaker Blog are not on the PMSH reporter shit list, so we did have a reporter and photographer on site at the time. TABaker Blog reporter Justin Kidding reports that the event in question was over in mere seconds. The RCMP raced their horses over to, and surrounded the vehicle in question forcing it to come to an abrupt stop. The driver was obviously an animal lover. As the driver was taken away, she was screaming and we quote... "You may have stopped me this time but I will be back. When I come back, you will all regret this and I will personally have you all fired! When will the people of this country wake up and realize, It's time, it's time!" We have no idea what she meant by any of this rant. The driver has yet to be identified but we do have a picture of the suspect vehicle at the scene. 
Saturday, December 30, 2006
A Beary Tale
Breaking news.... Reporting from Ayles Island...
It has been reported, that no one witnessed this event. But we here at the TABaker blog were determined to find at least one. We left no ice cube unturned as we scoured the Arctic. Finally after searching from ice flow to ice flow, we came across the White family.(picture #1) We found them on the newly formed(in relationship to the age of the earth) Island that was up until relatively recently, the Ayles Ice Shelf. Go figure. Mr White was at the Ayles Ice Shelf at the moment it let loose. As a matter of fact, Mr. White takes credit for the event. He claims that he and his family were in dire need of a stable place to call home. The recent warming trend had melted all the decent ice flows. In fact, the White family were in deed homeless. When Mr. White came to realize that there were no other options but to make a new home for his family he went to work chiseling away at the cliff. After months of work it finally happened. Mrs.White was able to take a Photo of Mr.White perilously close to the edge of the cliff watching it as it slipped away in to the depths below.(picture #2) 
No longer did they have to swim from one small chunk of ice to another to get out of the freezing arctic waters. They finally had a stable island of ice to hunt seals from. A place they could get out of the icy cold waters and relax and just enjoy themselves. It was a moment that truly changed the lives of this family for many years to come. As to the reports that Mr. White in his actions has destroyed unique features of the Canadian landscape, Mr. White had this to say. "Are they nuts? These things are dropping into the waters all the time. They form, they fall, it is called nature. Shit happens. I just helped this one along a little. I had to provide for my family. A bear has got to do what a bear has to do. " Who came blame anyone for looking after their families best interest? Sure not this reporter.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)