Global Warming Survival Kit

I have been busy the past few days getting my shit together preparing for the inevitable. Okay maybe not inevitable but 90% certainty that AGW is happening. Yes I was a Boy Scout, "Always Be Prepared" is still my motto. So I decided to add a few extra items to my already well stocked bomb shelter compliments of the cold war years. Consider this my contribution to saving your ass. You are welcome.

You should stock up on some serious sunblock. I would recommend nothing less that an SPF ratting of 50 with both UVA and UVB protection. You northern residents that are not use to the heat may want to kick it up a few notches.

You will notice the latest fashion trend will soon be large brim hats to keep that over powering sun shine from frying your brain. I suggest you have a couple on hand at the very least.

Another fashion trend coming down the pike will Be unisex burka's. There efficiency is undeniable when it comes to blocking out everything including the sun's rays. The new designs will incorporate the latest fabrics that will allow you to not only look cool but also stay cool. I recommend buying several of these items in various co ordinated colors to match your large brim hats.

One over looked item a lot of people seem to forget is sunglasses. You must protect your eyes as well from those demon sun rays. I suggest you look for ones that not only give you UV protection but also HEV protection as well. It is also a good idea to ensure they are also ANSI Z87.1 certified.

There will be bonuses to these new fashions. I will not reveal them here as I do not want to give out all my secrets to the criminal minds out there. Wink wink nudge nudge. Which reminds me. You do still have you weapons cash in your bunker don't you? You may want to check up on that one. You can never have enough protection now can you?

The next must have item is, ear plugs. Yes you read that correctly. Do you honestly want to hear the screams of all those stupid people dying because they were not smart enough to read this post?

For those of you stupid enough to be living near large bodies of water, or flood plains, I suggest you consider a self inflating raft. One of sufficient size to hold all your loved ones and all your survival equipment. When the waters rise during the floods and wipe out not only your home, but your whole way of life, you will thank me.

Speaking of water. Despite the fact that there will be water everywhere, very little will be suitable for drinking. You will want to store plenty of drinking water in a good hiding spot. No need for storing food, as crops will be plentiful and food will be abundant.

You may want to think about either getting air condition, or upgrading your existing air conditioner to a larger one to help keep you cool during those scorching hot days to come.

Now this next one is a personal call. Personally I am not going to miss all the snow, but if you are one of those that want to cling to the past then I suggest you get yourself a dedicated freezer. Fill it with some of the snow currently available to take a peek at now and then when you feel the need. Perhaps you can also use it as an educational item for the poor generations ahead that will not know what snow is.

You may also want to get yourself some form of alternate emergency power to keep your new cooling systems operating on those many brown out days that are sure to come. Incidentally caused by all those new cooling systems that will be needed to keep us cool.

Another item you may want to have handy, depending on your personality type is, the movie "An Inconvenient Truth" along with any other material you find useful to have on hand to shove in the faces of those damn global warning deniers. I like to call it the "We told you so" factor. Sometimes it is just nice to be able to vent out you frustrations while screaming at the top of your lungs, but to have actual proof comes in handy as well.

Lastly, with the increase of temperatures on the planet, there will no doubt be an increase in insects that will pester us. We will need to be prepared to take care of the pesky little buggers that spread so much disease. I suggest you ignore all the rules and get yourself some serious amounts of DDT. It is still available on the black market if you take the time to search it out. DEET just will not cut it. I also suggest you get one of these handy dandy tools just to play it safe.



I'm pretty sure that I have thought of everything needed to survive the warming of the climate and the utter catastrophe that is heading our way. If you think there is something I have missed and would like to add to the above please do so in the comments.

Thanks for popping by and enjoy your day as they may be numbered! Well to be honest they are numbered. They always have been. Life is a fatal disease....